fustrated!!

I am ready for this semester to be over! It has been long and hard. I can't seem to get my paper right at all. But at least I am done with one of my classes and almost there for the other. This semester has really made me miss my support person being home when I am. It would be easier if I was not up till midnight every night because my son will not let me work on my school work. If I could just get in an hour of class work before I am already exhausted I would have much more done.

I blame Disney

I blame Disney for makeing every girl think she can have that ball room scene. In the next year in a half I will be getting married, being a brides maid in two weddings and attending another 2. My two friends Kristal and Mandy have decided that we are having spontanous wedding planning days at my house! It is fun but tiring. However they are making me feel really behind. Both have spread sheets for budget and guest lists. They have details already figured out like when and where, what decorations they want and who is making the food. Granted we (boyfriend and me) are going with a caterer, dj, profesonal cake ( not from walmart or giant eagle), and an actual hunnymoon so I do have more to plan then them. They also do not go to school or have any kids so it is easier for them. That does not seem to matter though I still feel behind.
And to add to it I want my ballroom that I have wanted ever sience I saw Beauty and the beast and cinderalla!! But there are no ballrooms that I can afford!. I want that graceful dance where you get lost in each other. Sorry to say my boyfriend can not dance so that thows that out too! Damn Disney for making me want to be a princess!

The past six weeks

In the past 6 weeks I have had a very tiring time. Not only did I start a new term in school, I also went from third shift to first. That would be bad enough for anyone right. Well I have an 18 month old son and he has not taken the change very well. Add into that, his dad, my boyfriend has been working anywhere from 68-72 hour work weeks. Needless to say I get no help form him during the week. I have also been working my 40 hour weeks with overtime so we can afford to save for a car because mine has no heat or defroster. Did I mention that I live in the snow belt of northwest Pa? I have gotten good with a shovel because I can not get the snow blower out of the basement to use it. But I can only do that after 9 pm because that is when my son is finally asleep enough that I can go out and shovel. Next I have the house to clean and dinner to cook, not to mention fitting in family time and bed time routines. By the time I sit down I am exhausted because my days usually start at 4:30 am. Then I get to work on school work until I fall asleep. I work very hard to get it all done, but the 12 hours days my boyfriend works were suppose to have been over a month ago and he was then to have been placed on first shift. I found out to day that he will not get first but will instead be going to third. I am so tired and stressed that I want to pull my hair out after I finish a nice long nap where I get to sleep for more then 4 hours.

Oh yeah and I forgot to mention I am planning a wedding on top of all of this. I am glad to have the next three days off of work! Maybe now I can get caught up on everything that I have fallen behind on.

My writing process

I have trouble will making up my paper in small parts over time. I don't try to do it all in one day usually at the last minute but that seems to be the way it happens more often then not. I am the person who goes to work picks up my son makes dinner spends time with him then bath and his bed time. Any extra time (like if I am lucky enough to get him to take a nap) is spent cleaning or doing school work. I am usually doing school work all the way until the time that I pass out at night. I usually only get to researching my topic the week of the paper being do. I am proud of myself for not doing that this time, but I know I am still behind.
I am the one who usually sets a timer and just writes as much as I can based on the information that I have and go form there. I set down at a later time and type what I have wrote and reorganize, delete and add information. It seems to work for me that way but I have started to try things differently to see if another way will help me not feel like I have to move, move, move the day a paper or project is due.

Food and toddlers

Have you ever stood in line at the grocery store and looked at some ones cart and then proceeded to tell that person what you think of what they are buying? I hate it, people are so nosy where I live and are always doing this too me. I have an almost 18 month old son who gets WIC because he was a low birth weight full term baby, because of this my son will get WIC until he is 2. When I cash in one of his checks someone always has to comment. My son LIKES apple, oranges, pineapples, kiwi, mango, squash, onions, and so many other fruits and veggies. I have people look at me and say "That is for your son not for you, you need to get stuff he will eat." And I am sorry I am tired of being nice to people when they make comments like this. I find this not only out of place but rude.
When your a mother you get judged for everything. If you give your kids koolaid your a "bad parent." But if you get only fruits and vegetables and lean meats, then you are too restrictive and need to "loosen up." I think that we really need to change how people think about how we feed children and to make them see that your not "bad" if you give your child a serving of potato chips.
Sorry everyone but I needed to vent somewhere and everyone else tells me just to let it go but I can not go to the grocery store without hearing anything about it now. Thank you to all who listen!

Brainstorming

I did a lot of brainstorming when trying to find a topic to write my paper for my comp II class. I have had trouble these last couple weeks of fitting in my class work while keeping up with the holiday schedule. I am just thanking god that my son went back to taking naps or I would have no hair left after everything. But through it all my fiance had a nephew born on Dec. 30 and while we were on our hour drive back form seeing him we had a serious talk about where we were going and how we were going to get there. We were talking about our wedding plans and I told Chris that I need a picture of his father so that I could frame it and have that at our wedding. We then started talking about how his father died. His father passed away from complications with Marfan syndrome when Chris was 3 and we realized that neither of us know much about it other then it is genetic and that there is a very good chance that Chris can have it. His older brother Greg does. I think have my topic now.
Other options were:
Differences between Type1 and type2 diabetes
Nutritional impact of diabetes inseputis
Causes of childhood obesity (Professor ruled this one out)
Are energy drinks detrimental to a persons health
The effects of diabetes on a developing fetus
High protein diet for those with cancer
Are we sensitizing our children to germs with all the germicidal cleaner
There were others that I can not remember.